blank canvas

I had the rare privilege of worshiping ‘without strings’ today:  a church I’d never been to, with people I’d never met.   I went because I’d heard good things about them.  I went because as I pondered the church I usually attend for it’s beauty, music, incense and ritual, I knew I couldn’t face the old language.  I went because at the last minute when I thought ‘no, I’m going somewhere else’ this church’s web page showed me exactly who they were, and convinced me that I wanted to join them.

It was good.

It was very good.

Even though there were times when things were chaotic, when I was getting frustrated with some of what was going on around me, still God was present, and the liturgy cohered.  (is that a word?)

I suspect I will blog about different aspects of the service over the next week.  But let me start with something unexpected:

white paint.

St Thomas’ was a familiar sort of building — the same size and shape arches many of us live with in Scotland, thought the church felt pleasantly wide for its length.  But whereas in Scotland we are likely to have arches of stone, here, it is all wood.  So there is always a question of how you will balance all that dark gleaming.

Many a church I’ve seen in the States has been painted in light colours, and you can tell when it was last painted by which colours are on show.   Now, we’ve all seen good paint and bad paint, colours which help and colours which hinder.  But the effect of white paint and dark wood was interesting.

I was very aware that if one wanted to show off the building one would make a different choice — pick out the fine line of the arch in gold, perhaps, or use shades of colour to emphasis height and depth.

Instead, the white walls emphasised the shape of the space — literally created a ‘space’  that felt open and full of potential:  a bit like a ‘black-box’  and a bit like an art studio.  A space in which things were happening, and might happen.

It might have felt like an empty space, but even as you walked in you could see ‘things going on’.  The church was draped in Lenten array — and that is not a visual I like–  but there was a fabulously large bolt of cloth draping the nave cross and swooping out towards the west door.  I didn’t find it beautiful, but I found it dynamic.  Here was a community who had shaped itself for the season.

In the North transept, the white was broken by a thousand paper cranes hanging on thin wire, creating a canopy of movement and colour.  I wondered if it might be where the font was (which would have been unusual, but I hadn’t yet found it), but in fact it was the quiet play space for young children.  It reminded me of the stars in St Mary’s Cathedral, but had the advantage of depth of field and movement, visible from almost all parts of the church.

This time, I did think the effect was beautiful, and it made me wonder what was going on there — what the story was for those cranes.

In most regards the space was fairly traditional — pews, nave altar, choir, east altar– but simple things that were well done raised both questions and expectations.

And all that before a word was spoken or a note sung…

quite wonderful really.

mind games

The anatomy of singing certain carols:

God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay

oh good, I like this one, but never think to use it.  Why don’t I use it?

Remember Christ our Saviour was born on Christmas Day

da dum de dum de da dun dun — yes, it’s lovely isn’t it?  So colourful.  I love those long skirts, and that green velvet bonnet.  See there, the one with the white muff?  and her little dog.  Oh look, there’s Bob Cratchet…

To save us all from Satan’s power,
when we were gone astray.
Oh tidings of —

It was a beautiful film, so much a part of… Hold on.  To save us all from what??

comfort and joy, comfort and joy.

Satan… at Christmas?  No.

And so it goes. It really doesn’t bother me at all to sing ‘ye merry gentlemen’.  It’s a helpful locator:  it puts me immediately in a time and place far away.  And for a while, I can enjoy that.  In fact, the time/place locators in this are so strong (helped along by visions of Dickens) that I can even sing merrily about Satan without at first noticing what I am saying.  And that’s where it gets dangerous.

Uncritical use of language.  Uncritical use of imagery, all for a bit of nostalgia and a good tune.

I don’t’ really worry about this in a group of committed Christians.  I assume we can all sift our experience and differentiate what we enjoy for memory’s sake from how we would choose to speak of God today.  I trust that that process will happen because we will have heard other words, other stories that offer critique of the biases of one generation.  We need old hymns and new, to show for us different threads of our theology.

But what happens to the person who is there for the first time?  … who is just beginning to wonder what sort of God this is?

Well, we have just taught them that this world is held in Satan’s power, and that Christ comes to free us.  If they then stick around long enough to sing Child in a Manger (a carol all about redemption, but without a redeeming feature), they will get to refine this by singing:

…child who inherits all our transgression,
all our demerits on him will fall

One the most holy child of salvation
gently and lowly lived below;
now as our glorious mighty Redeemer,
see him victorious over each foe.

Lovely, isn’t it?  You’ve come to church at Christmas to see if you can catch a glimpse of God, and you’ve gone away having sung that the world is in Satan’s power, that God heaps all our faults and punishment on Christ, and that that’s OK, but Jesus does battle with all who oppose God and Jesus wins.

God help us.

There is not a single concept there that should be excised from Christianity.  They all have their place, their biblical precedents, and a mature faith needs to grapple with why the early church chose the language it did to speak of salvation.  But the Christmas Liturgy (or worse, the carol service) is not the time and place for it.   People remember the things they have sung better than the things that were said.  These are the images of God they will carry away, and the better the tune, the more damaging the effect.

None of this is about ‘man’ and ‘mankind’ — changing a word here, and a word there to aim at inclusion.

There are times, there are prayers and hymns in which it is easy to slip in ‘people’ or ‘humankind’ or ‘all’.  And sometimes that is the right thing to do.  But changing a word here and a word there can be worse than singing ‘God rest ye merry gentlemen’ if it suggests that we welcome this hymn and all its theology apart from that one little word.

puzzles

Never a fan of the jigsaw, I prefer puzzles to be three (or four) dimensional.  Wooden polyhedrons, gyrating shapes, kaleidoscopes, New Testament essays and ‘blank slate’ liturgies all fit the bill.

Given the time of year, you can guess it’s the last I’ve been working on.

Our Advent Carol Service is the ‘biggest’ liturgy of the year.  Oh, all right —  Christmas Eve and the Easter Vigil might technically win out, but I tend to think that the major feast need to unfold with quiet dignity and that means less puzzle solving for me.

This year, the Carol Service has felt especially tricky because at some point along the line, I realised that the ‘in house’ poems and prose that were being written by members of the congregation were so good that I should let them stand unsupported.  So, I put away all my resource files, stopped trawling books of poetry and kept checking my in-box.

The wealth of writing talent in these little congregations is amazing:  two poets, two prose writers, all offering a distinct voice and willing to write on demand.

This is alongside an equally impressive wealth of  in-house musical talent which will be supplemented this year by an octet the organist conducts.

For weeks now, I have been staring at some lovely looking pieces of the puzzle.  But I couldn’t quite see the goal.  Three things would fit together in one corner and another five would link elsewhere on the floor, but in-between?  nothing but a nervous gap.

Then today it all changed.  I re-read  two of the prose passages and realised they were beginning and end.  I noticed the phrase written by a former member of the Rothesay congregation that led perfectly to one of the ‘where shall I put it’ bits of music.  A Dunoon poem that had been sitting comfortably with its Brandine friend suddenly went for a walk and provided a transition between sections.   And it all started to happen.

When I was ten, one of my classmates was very good at solving the Rubik’s cube.   He worked fast, and you couldn’t see what was happening, but you could always tell when he was getting close because the atmosphere in the room shifted.

It was like that, Spirit hovering and nudging; poems, prose and music suddenly clicking into place.

Bliss.

So now, we have entered a new phase of nervousness.  Can I find the right voices?  Will it live on the day?

Kelvin recently quoted Wilde’s ‘terrible suspence’.  It is like that.   What fun.