unintended consequences

Sometimes fiction speaks more effectively than anything that is objectively true. And never more so than in complex pastoral situations where no one (not even the poor pastor) can hold all the pieces.

So today, I offer a double book recommendation for the emotional unravelling of pastoral knots. But be warned: the books will take you through the pain rather than around it…

The first book is The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell. (I know some of you have read it.)

The Sparrow imagines a world that moves between our own time and the not distant future. The premise is that a talented (if gangly) young scientist notices wave patterns from space that seem to be music, and therefore learns of life on another planet. This young man has a friend who is a Jesuit priest, and the Jesuit convinces the order to fund an exploratory journey into the new world.

The band of characters drawn together is immensely appealing. The awkward young scientist; the fervent Jesuit who believes he is called by God to this work; an earth-mother type and her husband, both of whom happen to be polymaths; and a beautiful and enigmatic Sephardic Jew (cue budding romance with gangly youth…)

The story is complex. The narrative’s ‘present’ is our future, in the midst of a Jesuit Inquisition. The priest is being tried for crimes against the other creatures, and he seems unable to defend himself.

But through the trial, you are given flashbacks. You follow the priest through all his discoveries, his optimism, his joy. And you are never sure whether he is sinner or saint.

Head and heart pull in opposite directions, then suddenly at the end, it makes a terrible sort of sense. It’s a stunning book that pushes you to think carefully about the nature of God, vocation, and ethics.

The books feels complete in itself. You may think you don’t want to read the sequel. But do. The second book is actually better — if also more painful.

The second book, Children of God, covers exactly the same story — but this time, the narrative moves between the Jesuits and the perspective of a life form that is indigenous to the planet. You see it all again: how the humans came, what the humans did, how their actions were received. And it is devastating.

Yes, the humans made mistakes. We knew that in the first book. Some of their actions had consequences they had never imagined. We knew that too.

But what catches you off guard is the complex way in which it was the very best of the human’s actions — their good intentions, their striving to get it right — that had the most damaging effect.

And that is so much easier to face in a novel than in a congregation, in someone else’s life than in our own.

The books are well worth a read. But don’t expect to feel like doing much afterwards.

p.s. — and if anyone out there knows where my copies are…

not today

Having faced the horrors of the new non-dom tax laws and cleaned the downstairs storage space, I have imposed as ‘frivolous novels and films only’ rule for the rest of the day.

So why do I have this irrational urge to read theology??

I know I mustn’t. My mind needs to rest. A classic case of wanting what is forbidden, and reaching after the thing that will do us harm…

(oh dear. It’s getting bad. I heard myself think ‘but maybe if I read Barth, I would just get annoyed quickly and the need would pass.’ No. No. I mustn’t.)

what do you do, exactly?

Funny how the strange days always seem the most expressive of priesthood.

It began simply enough — phone calls, emails, a bit of desk clearing, a bit of feline distraction. Then off to a number of visits. Intended conversations: ‘how are you, then?’, general encouragement, group dynamics, graves and funeral hymns. Actual conversations: ‘how are you then?’, patterns of ministry, teams and trials, complexities of relationships, theologies of priesthood, and the incomprehensibility of manuals for electronic wheelchairs.

Yes, that’s right. I spent the whole afternoon fighting with a control panel and a most inaptly named ‘joy stick’. Never were the words ‘pride comes before a fall’ more ominous — since I knew the pride had been mine and the fall would be someone else’s if I got it wrong.

How hard could it be? Surely with manual in hand, I could help this dear woman change the angle of her chair slightly. Continue reading “what do you do, exactly?”

dance, dance

A tangential thread on an earlier post sent me browsing through an old favourite: Elizabeth Aldrich’s From the Ballroom to Hell. The relevant bit is in the comment thread below, but I thought a more fulsome quotation might amuse you.

This one is especially for father Zebadee (and I dare say, his son).

The Canon of the Polka

1. At the concluding note of the bar before you begin, throw back your left foot. If there is such a thing as a pewter Mercury, or a plaster Cupid in any of the gardens in your neighbourhood, you may practise standing in the attitude the figure is in, the being able to stand like a goose on one leg, being an important, and indeed, essential facility to those who aspire to be rated, A.1. in Polka.

II. Take a good hold of your partner and keep it; it is the height of spooniness to let anything slip through your fingers.

III. Remember, that in your step you stride, not straddle. If you cannot keep your own legs in their proper places, no one else will do it for you.

IV. Be moderate in your kicks, as you ought to be in all your pleasures, and do not forget that kicking, you lash, not prance.

V. Stop when you hear your partner sobbing very painfully, or when you observe her gown is coming off. Nothing marks a chivalrous mind, more than consideration fro women…

VI. [on what to do if you can’t dance, see the comments for in your heart below]

VII. If you can dance, impress upon your partner that she must trust herself implicitly and unresistingly to your guidance — Faith being the only virtue that saves a Polka.

from Captain Knox’s
The Spirit of the Polka
London, 1854