bliss

Today has been as close to perfect as it gets. Blue sky, white clouds, lots of theology lectures to go to, and a chance to watch the tide roll in on my favorite beach, favorite dog at my side (don’t tell Molly).

I have often thought about coming to St Andrews for the Theology and the Arts conference, but have never quite found the time. A kindly grant from the bishop meant that this year it has happened — and I suspect will happen again and again hereafter.

A lot of a priest’s time is spent teaching — one on one, and in groups, we teach about prayer, scripture, theology, liturgy and even (when it is absolutely necessary) church history. I learn a lot through the process — people bring different perspectives and different questions. But much of the material is very basic. So it is a delight to come away to a conference where I am out of my depth, working right at the edge of my comfort zone, amidst people who know far more than I do.

I am not the only priest at the conference, but I think I am the only ‘parish priest’. That’s fine by me. But I bet there are other priests out there who would love this as much as I do. And as the day went on (and we moved from the expert lectures to the post-grad/ budding academic papers) I realised that I wasn’t really so far out of my depth. There were things that I knew from parish life that simply hadn’t occurred to some of the people around the table. And I was quite pleased when someone tried to challenge a paper on the grounds that it wasn’t nuanced enough — the nuanced argument being the one my congregations got in a sermon a few weeks ago. (I didn’t think it was nuanced. It just seemed obvious from where I was standing.)

I have always believed we need to hold church and academy together, but have assumed that it is largely academics with Christian commitment who have to build the bridge. Perhaps we need more than that. Maybe we need church people to dabble more in theology and go to conferences like this.

It is great fun.

Especially in sunny and splendid St Andrews.

(And Trevor Hart can still pack more into an hour lecture than anyone I know.  If you ever get a chance to listen to him, don’t pass it by.)

park not

I’ve just had a friendly chat with the local traffic warden, and offer this as a public service announcement.  (yes, he was pleasant.  All Dunoon eyebrows can be lowered now.)

I was trying to prevent him from giving someone else a ticket since I’d driven past a minute before, was now walking back from the Garage, and I knew the offending car had just appeared.  It was parked on the edge of the pavement/ sidewalk at a double yellow line, right next to a driveway.

‘He wasn’t here a minute ago.  He may just be dropping something off.’

‘Well that would have been fine, if he hadn’t driven onto the pavement.  You can stop for 11 minutes on a double yellow line to drop something off, but as soon as you go up on the pavement it’s an automatic offence.’

Those of you who live in places with wide roads will be bewildered by this.  Why would anyone drive onto a sidewalk?  But in much of Britain, lots of us pull up onto the kerb/ curb deliberately to make space for cars travelling past.

But now we have been warned.  Straight from the traffic warden’s mouth:  feel free to stop and deliver your goods, blocking traffic if need be, but don’t try to to be helpful by getting out of the way.

It’s all about prams and wheelchairs, you see…

the longest journey

My days off were swapped again this week — this time because a friend is considering a job in Argyll and wisely wanted a look around before the interview. Yesterday, as we returned from Lochgilphead by the Tarbet ferry and saw the view unfold over the hill near Kames, I remarked what an odd life this is, commuting endlessly on road most people think of as holiday fare. It is often lovely. But one is rather dependent on the good will of the car.

So, this evening’s journey was just a bit scary. All was well on the way to Bute, all around the island, and back to Colintraive. Then suddenly, as we climbed the hill (little car and I) she gave a shudder, and refused to accelerate. I thought it was a blip — a misapplied pedal, a bit of leaf in the petrol tank. Nothing serious. But when I pulled over, and she shuddered even in ‘park’ (little car is a — usually — clever automatic) I knew we were in trouble.

I imagined her suddenly stalling out with a lorry lumbering behind us. I imagined the engine bursting into flames. I imagined the soggy wet walk to the nearest place my phone would work — and decided to keep going. With much prayer and coaxing, we found little car could cope at 40, with the revs at ‘2 x many zeros‘. Thirty was grumpy. Sixty was impossible. Zero was worst of all. So slowly and prayerfully, we made our way over the hills, in and out of passing points (15 miles of single track road, remember) and survived the journey home. The scariest bit was trying to hover close enough to the 30 mile an hour speed limit not to get stopped, while near enough to 40 to keep going smoothly (‘Sorry officer. Just trying to get home…’)

We made it all the way up to the rectory, and parked strategically to allow us either to roll down the drive to the Garage, or to be towed away easily in the morning.

Having felt very much out of control all the way home, I decided to embrace the feeling and leave the book group to their own devices.

Now, do you suppose little car’s clever friends at Stewart’s Garage will have her working again for the weekend? … for the service in Tighnabruaich on Sunday? … for the conference in St Andrews Sunday night?

I suspect Molly will be the beneficiary of a very dead car, and my conference fees will have to be considered a contribution to my old alma mater.

oranges are not the only fruit

I have just begun the process of cancelling my subscription to Orange, and thus ending a year of broadband frustration.

Orange cannot cope with Macs ( I run both a Mac and a PC for rather bizarre reasons…), and whenever I have needed customer service, it has been appalling.  Until today.  I don’t think I have ever had an easier or more pleasant phone call about computers.  I would say it was a ploy to keep customers from leaving, were it not for the fact that they did not try in any way to make me stay.

So (until the MAC code fails to arrive or the standing order is not cancelled…) one good thing to say about Orange:  it is easy to leave.

Do you suppose that’s how some people feel about churches?

If all works, I shouldn’t ever really lose internet connection, but I am doubtful.  If I disappear for a few days, you will know why.