not to be

As tempting as it once was, I could never really have been a benedictine.

It’s the requirement of hospitality that would do me in.

Tomorrow the bishop comes. So imagine the scenario:

‘Welcome, bishop. Mrs Bishop. Right this way. Yes that’s it, just step over the ice chests and don’t trip the bags of crisps. Yes, yes it is a lovely new barbecue that you saw on the back seat of my car. Please ignore the seventeen other bags on the porch, and the unwashed dishes in the kitchen. The last loo roll is where it needs to be, and the kettle is on…’

We did clean the sacristy and print the church magazine. Pew sheets and growing season challenges are ready. Apart from that I’ve spent the day under a blanket, nursing LemSips and trying not to cough.

(cough)

Time to go watch Casualty. Maybe it will offer perspective. (Cough, cough)

3 thoughts on “not to be”

  1. OK, I guess my throat really is sore.

    I was just reading a blog which happened to be a ‘dog post’ today. Someone in the comments recommended a summer doggie treat of yoghurt mixed with water, honey, and peanutbutter, then frozen in ice cube trays. I though ‘oh that sounds good.’

    Why is there never ice-cream (or even ice cubes) in the freezer when you need it??

  2. Now, that really is a question! The answer is that one ALWAYS needs it, so it got eaten and not replaced.

  3. p.s. I’m sure the bishop is more than bright enough to prefer excellent and stimulating company to mere tidiness. Just as the joke is that the Queen believes that her Kingdom smells of new paint, I imagine bishops must come to believe that everywhere except their palace is perfectly tidy 😉 It must get very boring.

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